This book is about the grief of a sudden young death and the madness that I was hurled into as a result. On March 12th 2004 I found my beloved brother dead at his flat and I was overcome with the grief that followed. I am a Registered General Nurse and have dealt with death and suffering within my profession for over 20 years. However, the impact of my grief after finding Kevin dead lead to a nervous breakdown, the loss of my beloved job and the sense of myself as a person. I have had to write this book not only for me but also for the countless people out there who as I type are getting a phone call, a knock on the door, the news that a young person has died suddenly. The impact of this type of grief is within the pages of my book and I hope that my words and emotions experienced will support you within the madness that is created. But mainly it is for Kevin because I could not let his death mean nothing because he meant everything to me and his family. In memory of Kevin this book has been wrote but it is mainly intended for those that are left behind to live within the madness that their loss has created.