Well, take her hand and lead her to a brave new world-amateur writing in its most mediocre form. A novel about pregnancy, short tempers, irritating husbands, late trains, lesbian midwives, crazy Grandads, ante natal classes, groins, beautiful children, Jerry Springer and internal audit. Need I say more?

Anyway, this could be the start of something big. Probably won't be but never mind. At the very least you could use this as one example of the cool underground artists you like to refer to at dinner parties while everyone else looks blankly back at you. If that doesn't work then there's always that shelf in the kitchen which needs propping up. So be it art, DIY or the odd laugh you might be looking for, take a chance; you might enjoy it and you'd certainly make my day!