For Elspeth Pule, life is dull and lonely in the real world, where she misses her good friends, Humpty Dumpty, Bo Peep, and Rodney, a giant talking wheel of cheese.

So when she gets a surprise visit and a desperate plea for help from Georgie Porgie and Gene the blabbermouth stick, Elspeth agrees immediately. After holding her breath until she is blue in the face, Elspeth opens her eyes and finds herself back in a land where storybook characters are real.

Here she learns that a horrible witch named Mary Mary Quite Contrary has kidnapped King William the Umpteenth's wife and taken her into a dark forest. To free her, Elspeth and her ragtag crew will have to pay the witch's ransom . . . or else. Can Elspeth use her bravery, smarts, and just a little bit of ill temper to thwart the evil witch and rescue her friend?

Told with a hilarious irreverent voice, this rambunctious tale is perfect for fans of Lemony Snicket and Pseudonymous Bosch.