This ain't no table tennis. You're not here to skip rope with your niece. You're here to witness the catastrophically awesome exploits of history's greatest badasses. Not only that, you're here to see what happens when badasses collide, when glory and doom hang in the balance, when two men enter one man leave. If you dare listen, you'll hear the stories of

• Cyrus the Great, who forges the Persian empire with blood, steel, and a few thousand rampaging camels.
• St. Moses the Black, the Patron Saint of Asskickings, who teaches bandit thugs a lesson in turning the other cheek.
• The War of Aracau, when the Spanish invaders sawed off the hands of a Mapuche warrior, the Mapuche Warrior strapped blades to his arms and lead the only successful resistance in all of South America.
• The Rani of Jhansi, oppressed by the British, one Indian warrior-princess rises in revolt, taking on the British crown with a sword in each hand and her baby strapped to her back.
• The Charge of the Australian Light Horse, when 800 horsemen armed with bayonets embark on the last great cavalry charge in history, rushing toward trenches filled with machine guns, rifles, and huge bullets!
• Tango Mike-Mike, one lone Green Beret's attempt to single-handedly rescue an entire Special Forces squad from a pinned-down position deep behind enemy lines in Cambodia.

Told in Ben Thompson's hilariously over-the-top prose and accompanied with forty pieces of eye-popping, original artwork, these stories will thrill and inspire readers to grind their enemies into the dust. When there can be only one Badass, it's an Ultimate Deathmatch.