"A laugh-out-loud mash-up of Bonfire of the Vanities and Mean Girls." --Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking

William Sanderson is very rich, but you can always be richer. He's up for a huge promotion at investment giant Bedrock Capital, but there's one crucial hurdle he must clear first--assuming he can keep the HR department at bay. He's also looking for any string to pull to get his maddeningly indifferent daughter Ginny into Yale. Ellie, his wife, is a newcomer to New York who only wants to fit in, while Daughter #2, the shy Zoey, is happy just to make a new friend, even in the form of the unusual new girl who calls herself a goblin.

Things turn upside down when the girls' exclusive school admits its first trans student, only to have her mysteriously disappear. As a frenzied search begins, the entire city frets about her fate. Somehow caught in the crosshairs are the Sandersons, a family desperately trying to navigate all the new cultural rules--and failing miserably.